heartbeat

Most of the time, we aren't aware of our heartbeat. It functions asleep or awake, takes us to work and home.  When we are the most aware, however, is when something makes it speed up.  When a cute guy smiles at you from across the room. Running up that first, hard trail. Or riding my bicycle.

I can't ride, not for 6 more weeks. 

On my way to work this morning, I decided to take a back route to avoid clogged main road.  It's the road i take on my bike to get to the lake.

As soon as my tires hit my normal route, my heart began to speed up. At first, i was a bit confused.  Was my pain getting worse? Was I having an anxiety attack (never had one, so no idea what that would feel like)

It was cel memory.   The body remembers.  How i feel when my bicycle wheels change pavement. Leaning far over to take a sharp turn.  Playing frogger on my bike to cross traffic. Same path, same heart beat. Mentally i was sorting out my day, but my body remembers.

Then i passed the lake. I saw a few bikes out there.  I can't say there isn't a tug inside.  A sinking feeling I wont feel that crappy asphalt under my tires on northcliff hill for a long while.  6 weeks.  It's barely a winter season in texas.  

I bought new wheels for my bike, after a close friend's urging.  I haven't put them on my bike yet.  The bikes are sitting under tarps, safely hidden to not tempt my fate by getting on it too soon.  I set the wheels up in my living room. Not the best room art. For me, they're a subtle reminder.

My heart races just thinking about them.  IT was a windy day. I don't miss that.

I hope you're heart beats when you find something, or someone, you really, really like. After all, that's what life is all about.

The heart beats.