Me..3.0

I know! I haven't written in a long time. 
It's because, well, I got insanely busy. I took 3 animation bootcamps back to back while working a full time job, and it about killed me. Design really put the last nail in the coffin. I am not much of an illustrator, and since i had no design background, I am trying to not only learn, but catch up at warp speed.  When that was over, i took the summer off to try to process and start using my new skills.  

Then, i found myself sort of floundering. 

Here is something I know about myself.  I second guess myself, a lot. I hate it. It's like I've got two very loud voices in my head, talking at the same time. As soon as i make a decision, the second voices goes "well wait a minute, what if...".   Then anxiety kicks in. Drives me nuts. Drives my BF nuts.  How to quiet that damn voice?

So, i decided to take another bootcamp. yes, I'm crazy, but this is a beta class and a good opportunity to actually use the stuff i learned in the bootcamps, to prepare me for the real world.

I'm into the second week, and I can honestly say..I suck. Wow, i suck so hard as an artist. 
It's not that i don't' practice, because i don't. But i just don't know "what" to practice.  I never had a chance for formal training.   

As a part of this new, definitely out of my comfort zone experience, I am going to force myself out my own head, and blog about what I'm going through.  Since few actually read this, maybe just getting it out there will quiet the second guesser voice.  Maybe i should name that voice?  i looked up the words "second guess", and this popped up, "Dutch Uncle".  And that definition is "A Dutch uncle is an informal term for a person who issues frank, harsh, or severe comments and criticism to educate, encourage, or admonish someone."

 So, I'll going to call my second voice, Dutch.  Maybe you guys can help me shut up Dutch when he rears his head. 

My next entry will be catching you up on my progress. 

Til then, clear skies.