Cry baby

Im a damned fool. I take two wonderful occasions and pee all over them. Why? My frustration levels have hit an all time high The worst is, I feel like i can't express my feelings in the upbeat positive way anymore. I am breaking my own heart. I keep trying to say that I need certain things, and instead of sticking to those in a positive way, Ive become an insullent child. a big word I can't spell. I am acting like s spoilt brat. A situation I'm in is difficult. What happened to my flare for solutions? I think it's the serious lack of communication. I am desperately needing something, and it's not coming. What do you do to protect yourself, those around your, and find a positive solution. My warrior spirit has been unleashed. She fights her way through survival. Yes, I feel like, in this situation, I am fighting to survive. What am I fighting for? Not health. I'm hopefully, winning that battle. No, this one is an intangible. It's my soul. How do I get myself into these messes?? I need to talk, but I need someone bigger than me to step up and see me, this , for want It is. Somedays, I'm just not the bigger person. Somedays, I'm a little frustrated child throwing a tantrum. I've lost my ability to see the bigger picture. I need help. The worst fear I have, is that the damage I've done is irreparable. I'm totally disgusted w myself. Can I even say, "I'm sorry" or would that fall on daf ear... Dear universe, I could use a little help here....