Winter and Cycling

I do believe, that we've finally hit winter. This is the month i DREAD! My friends are still out on their bikes, in 35F weather, and god bless em! But i just can't make that leap.

I desperately attempted to ride the trainer.  I'd rather poke my eyes out with a pencil. It's the most mind numbing boring thing in the world. At least on a treadmill, my whole bod is engaged, so that's more enticing that just sitting and spinning. ugh.

On a more personal note, I've had to face some realities. In a week, I'm going to have a surgery that will knock me out of cycling for about two months. NOT happy about the downtime, but in the long run, it will be well worth it.  I just have to weather that storm, and already the clouds are gathering and causing me anxiety.  You'll prob see a lot of blogs of me whining a little, but attempting to put myself into some sort of training program to weather that storm.

More to the point, I've just had a personal brush with someone who yanked my chain for a few months. At first, I felt like a real idiot. Then i felt anger and disgust. Why do people feel they need to lie to get what they want?  Whether it's in sports or any other aspect of their life.  And to morally find nothing wrong with it, is totally mental.  My question is, do they not find what they're doing despicable, or do they truly believe lying is the OK?  Or are they so fucked up that they actually believe their own lies?  I don't know.  I guess I've got an aligned moral compass, like most humans, and i just assume most normal people do.  If you want to engage in whatever behavior, be honest about it. IT's ok you don't have to tell the world, but when trying to get after something, if you have to lie and cheat, you've already lost. AND the truth will come out.

Sometimes, i think individuals who engage in such behavior, really want to be busted. 

But let me tell you what that does to the people around you. It hurts. It hurts beyond anything else you could possibly do to them.  Everyone makes a mistake. We're human. We're supposed to mess up, but come clean. 

I'm not only angry, but i've entered into sadness. Even if it's just a friend, it's still heart breaking. I dont have a lot of time, and i don't invest in many close relationships.  It also leaves lasting scars that eventually get projected onto others, because when you lie, you con someone into believing it, duping them out of reality.  Esp if you tell them, "please don't hurt me".  And they promise they wont. But they know by that very act, it will end that way.

Lady Gaga's song, "that boy is a monster" keeps resonating in my head. 

After the month I've had, kicking a girl when's down, is downright criminal. But then again, I guess if they really cared, they wouldn't have done it.  I wouldn't be able to look at my parents in the eye, or my kids (if i had any).  But, You know who you are. And i hope you read this. I hope you think twice about doing it some one else. 

Be brave, be honest. Don't cheat. NO game on earth is worth the pain you've caused others. Just ask Contador!

Warm, clear, calm skies, my friends.